Have you ever woken up in the morning and realized that the person inside of you is shifting?
That the things you thought about not even a week before no longer are a priority? And that the things you never thought of, or never would have considered, have proven to come front and center?
I honestly don’t know if I should be sick over this or excited. All I know is that there is a feeling of anticipation inside of me, and I’m struggling to understand the whys.
I want so much to embrace all the aspects of myself, but I also know that whenever I try to do that, it’s like having too many hands in the kitchen. I get overwhelmed, anxious and then I lose all motivation because of it. I am the kind of person who needs to focus her energies one thing at a time. If I do anymore of that, I freak out and then nothing gets done. It’s a crappy way to live.
I wish I could explain it more than I have, but it’s just….well, all I know is that I feel I’m changing again. I’ve never been someone who was afraid of change, but when it comes to changing within, it scares the ever-living out of me.
Okay, so what’s up? Well, the first thing I noticed is probably the biggest. As many people know, I was so happy that this past Winter I did not have the crippling depression I have had in years past. Now, although I was taking tons of supplements this time around to counter the depression, I felt the winter was a big win in my eyes, as many years in the past, I have fought these dark moments through hours of crying, staring, sleeping and all around just feeling sad. Yet, I did not have this this past winter.
Then Spring came.
And I wasn’t as excited as I had been since I was a little girl. I planted my usual things and lost a lot of plants from a small heatwave that hit. The issue was, I had not an ounce of desire to replant. Nope. Not one fleeting emotion of anticipation and happiness I had always had before when gardening.
Here’s where it gets weird: I found myself getting moody when it would go over 75 degrees! Usually, this is when my mood goes UP! Instead, it’s going down. Why?
It seems, I am I transitioning from Spring and Summer to Autumn and Winter. It just doesn’t make sense!
Either way, this feeling of change has inspired me to start painting again. And right now, I feel this calling to get to the mountains. Where I live is in the suburbs of Philadelphia, PA. And as much as I love where I live, the calling to want to go to the mountains has been getting stronger each day.
Last year, I went to visit some sisters in faith up in the Poconos region. And the moment I came out of the tunnel into the Lehigh Valley area, I felt like my heart was going to explode. I cherished the drive I took that day, and felt a deep sadness when I drove home. Not that I was sad to go home to my family, but leaving an area I have been feeling the call to go towards. It felt…right.
I want to go to a place where there are mountains and streams, forests and woods full of birch trees. Where campfires are a daily thing, and not a seasonal one. Where you can close your eyes and all you hear are the sounds that God Himself created. To breathe air so clear you forget what it means to have sinus issues. To look up at night and see right through the firmament and into the heavens. Where you can wade through a spring instead of taking a shower just because you can.
Why after 47 years am I not only wanting this change, but actually craving it? Does this happen to many people? Is it just women? Is it the age?
It’s not like I no longer enjoy Spring and Summer anymore. I still feel that quickening in my belly between March and April when life returns to my area, but it wasn’t as strong as the quickening in my belly for Autumn right now. At least not lately.
Funny, I say all this, but my idea of snowstorm after snowstorm is still not pleasing, However, all I know when it comes to winter is winter in the suburbs. Winter in the suburbs is not like Winter in the mountains.
Winter in the suburbs is messy. People are so anxious whenever we get a snowstorm, because they don’t like to be without their vehicles. So, diesel plow trucks filled with salt and sand go up and down the streets, salting every nook and cranny so that every person in the town can get out and continue with their day. Last Winter I questioned whether or not God created Winter for the purpose of souls to stop and rest. I know not every place on Earth gets Winter, but I do believe He places souls in certain areas of the world who need to learn a specific thing. For years I wondered why God put me in Pennsylvania, a temperate climate where the Summers can be sweltering and the Winters can be debilitating. At one point in my life, I started researching places where the weather everyday is Spring-like. I got as far as Portugal and stopped my research, as my chances of moving my whole life to Portugal because I don’t like Winter were slim, if not non-existent.
All I know is that change is coming. And I’m totally embracing it.
I think I may have told you long ago about my Ancestry. I am 46% Scottish, 40% Irish and 14% Scandinavian.
All of this points to one thing: North.
I am a Northern girl. I was born in the North, raised in the North. And although for many years my mind and body were longing for something warmer, something Southern, something less in your face. I wanted to go to a place where sweaters and woolen socks were not welcome, where everywhere I turned was green.
And yet, I never left. I stayed right here in the North. In 2020, I believe our Lord showed me why He never wanted me to leave. My soul, the very essence of me, Bridget, was forever tied to the Northern climate. He made me remember my poetry from 10-15 years ago, which was mainly about Icebergs, Heaven and the Northern Lights. I’ll admit, I think of the Northern Lights and like to think that it’s the aura of Heaven itself. And since my faith has changed and I’ve come back to Christ, I honestly want to be as close to Him as possible. Why would I want to leave?
No doubt, I want out of the suburbs. I have two more years to think about this. Two more years to plan this.
The stress of where I live, how I live, is causing me to stay sick. To be unhealthy. I never truly understood the power of being in an environment that could make or break you.
The Scot in me wants the heather and the mountains. The Irish in me wants the green hills and valleys.The Scandinavian in me wants clean, fresh air and forests and woodlands.
Last year I learned my soul wants to follow a life of seasons. All of them. Not just the best ones. Not just the pretty ones.
And I know just the place to get all of this. Right here in my home state of Pennsylvania.
This morning I got up to log onto work for the day, and I noticed an anomaly that I haven’t seen in these parts in a long time. SNOW. Now sadly, I didn’t get a chance to take a picture, because quite honestly, my brain was not at normal functioning levels for me to even think to do that. For the last 2 ½ years, my wake up call was between 9-9:15AM. Now, it’s 7:30AM. That 90 minute difference is a bit much for this soon-to-be 47 year old. Hopefully after a few months of this new schedule, I will be more cognizant in the morning.
Winter has finally arrived here in Southeast Pennsylvania
We haven’t seen snow in my town in a couple years. Call it climate change, call it global warming. But the last couple years, snow has been almost non-existent in my part of the world. And for someone that has had some serious difficulty with snow/cold temperatures in general, I’ve been completely A-OK with this. Yet, if this year has taught me anything, it’s to appreciate the present and stop thinking/worrying about the future.
Honestly I cannot even believe I’m saying that! If anyone knows me, you know that Winter is extremely difficult for me. My Seasonal Depression (also known as SAD), is usually over the roof between now and Mid-March. My energy levels plummet, my motivation is practically non-existent. And yet, 2020 showed me that it is NOT worth it! The warrior in me wants to fight this. Until I get to my Heavenly home, I need to understand that where I am living at right now, I need to deal with the good AND the bad. So I need to make the most of the time I have here.
Lately I’ve been watching a lot of documentaries about my ancestors from Ireland, Scotland and Scandinavia. I’m a Scotch-Irish Viking, dangit! And let me tell you, they did some really cool stuff back in the day when it came to Winter. Without getting in all the magical properties of their culture (I cannot go down that rabbit hole for personal reasons), I’ve been mainly watching the culinary and domesticated ways my ancestors handled the cold. Especially in that part of the world, there are areas that sees the sun rise and set and only a few hours from each other. Darkness for most of the year sounds incredibly upsetting to me. But I like to think of myself as a domesticated pet who has NO idea how my feral brethren did it for as long as they did. In many ways, the Industrial Revolution made many of us lazy. As easy as it is to switch on a light, or turn on a fireplace heater, I can easily say 90% of this population would die in the event of an EMP disaster.
How much would I love to have a wood burning stove in my house, as well as a window in my kitchen, part of my deck covered, and a cobb stove outside? These are things on my wish list, and until then, I need to work with what I have. We are planning on staying here for a while, and until then, we might as well really get into the nesting process that I ignored when I moved in here 5 years ago. The moment cold weather hits, I retreat into my own depression, and it’s really easy to just stay there. This year, I am going to press on through that and force the change that needs to be made. There’s a big difference in hibernating during winter and retreating. In my eyes, when you retreat, you walk away, you surrender. When you hibernate, you go into quiet mode for a temporary amount of time. Retreating is permanent, whereas hibernating is temporary.
So, this year, I’m going to hibernate.
Taking from my Scandinavian ancestors, I turn to the old tradition of Hygge. (pronounced Hoo-Ga). It is the tradition of nesting, getting cozy, hibernating. There are amazing YouTube videos that talk about Hygge and what it entails. SLOW AND SIMPLE LIVING. If you want to understand my need for slow and simple living, go check out my blog post here.
The Lord created this world for a reason. There’s a reason why we are born to a certain country, race, culture, climate, etc. I have spent countless years trying to get away from a season that I never really got to understand. Why would God have me live in the North if I’m not supposed to enjoy it? There’s no doubt I LOVE the change of the seasons. Even Autumn into Winter, there is a small period where my body, mind and soul enjoy the change. But it’s a very short time, and I spiral quickly afterwards. So, how does one try to keep the joy for that entire season, like I do the other three?
This is my quest.
Now that I am working from home, I have the ability to nest a bit more. Before, I was out of the house somewhere between 6:30AM and 9PM, depending on where I was working. No more! Linus is quite happy that Mama is home every day, and if a puppy’s love is not motivation enough, I’m in big trouble!
How do you hibernate in the Winter? I’m legitimately curious. This is a big challenge for me, so any advice would be truly appreciative!
Today starts the beginning of the holiday prep season for most Americans. I say that because this week is the prep time for our annual day of Thanksgiving. Although many people see Thanksgiving as a day to remember the terrible genocide of the Indigenous Peoples that inhabited this land before, I made a vow long ago to remember the day we tried to make peace and harmony with those who’s land we came upon. The truth is, the only people who discovered America are the people who were living here at the time Columbus and Erikson came onto these lands. Our Native American Indians, who lovingly met with the Pilgrims who landed on Plymouth Rock all those hundreds of years ago. These people who taught us how to plant corn and wheat, how to forage the native medicinals for healing, how to build shelters to keep warm and safe during those North Eastern Winters. My ancestors who shipped from the likes of Ireland, England, Scotland, Wales, Germany and Scandanavia (yup, that’s right, I’m a bit of a Celtic Mutt), lived amongst the Native Americans here at the edge of the Appalachian Mountains not too far from where I live right now. Thanking science for geneology reports, I found that my people came to live in the Pocono Mountains, about 2.5 hours from my home.
My personal geneology report as of 11/22/2020
I’ve been thinking a lot about my ancestors this year in particular. Call it pandemic curiosity, call it research, I’ve taken great pride in studying my family’s history and how we ended up here in Pennsylvania. I come from a Clan of people called The Ulster Irish, also known as the Black Irish. They were the Indiginous people of Ireland who lived up in the North East of Ireland. There was a time in history that the Vikings from Scandanavia came down, raping and pillaging these people, breeding a new generation that would eventually emigrate to Scotland and England, and then eventually hundreds of years later, take a boat off of Southampton and land in New York City. My ancestoral history is not a pretty site, but I feel it is important to remember that not all of the Irish were good, and not all the Vikings were bad. What I DO know, is that it’s MY history, and although it’s not always pretty, it’s MY history. And this is exactly what I taught my children as I raised them. History is messy, and sometimes there are things that happened that are not easy to talk about. Horrific things like brutal rape and genocide, but also wonderful things like love, truce, and comraderie. We educated each other, and I HAVE to believe that however this country was formed, there was both bad AND good. Both sad YET happy times. And if 2020 has taught me anything, is that for all the bad stuff that’s happened to us, if we don’t remember the good along with it, we forfeit our right to the powerful truth of history.
So, as you prepare this week of celebrations, reunions and the like, I dare you to think about the good that has happened in this year along with all the challenges we as a nation have faced. Even if the good was personal and private, and no one but you and God were there to witness it, REMEMBER it. And thank our Creator above for all that we have been given.
For me, I am grateful for several things and came to some funny conclusions:
I have incredible faith that I never knew I had until I found myself in some serious hard times. That my inner circle, although tight and and secured, is more powerful than having thousands of social networking fans. That maybe I’m really a Northern gal, and that maybe it’s time I face the fact that if I embrace Winter, I may not be as depressed as I always expect to be each year. That the power of prayer can move mountains. That God gives me EXACTLY what I need when I NEED it, and nothing more or less. That if I stop trying to live life like I’m running in a marathon, I’ll find that peace I keep talking about. Huh.
I’m hosting Thanksgiving this year for my in-laws. I’m looking forward to it, despite some challenges it sometime faces. I have SO much to be thankful for this year, and I intend to relish in every single moment over these next several weeks, until it’s time to bid adieu to 2020 and turn the page to the next chapter. I hope you take heed to what I’ve said and do the same. We all deserve peace in our lives right now. And it has to start from within. God Bless You.
Whenever I hear the term “Slow Living”, I think of my favorite TV show “As Time Goes By”, where Jean (portrayed by Dame Judi Dench) and Lionel (the recently late Sir Geoffrey Palmer) argue about her retiring from work. Lionel’s publisher Alistair speaks about her upcoming retirement and going on with Lionel in the “Slow Lane of Life”, to which Jean becomes incredibly irritated over the fact that everyone wants her to slow down.
I always found this funny, because when one thinks about slowing down, you picture an older couple, retired and walking the malls or boardwalks at the beach, possibly taking a stroll through the park hand in hand, or even thinking of an older woman sitting by the fireplace kitting a blanket. Wait….
None of this strikes me as “old”. Maybe it’s just that I AM getting older, and moving onward to the slow lane in life seems really, really appealing. I have a few friends who live by this rule of simple and slow living, and watching their videos on YouTube really captures the spirit I am willing to take part of.
What is Slow Living, exactly?
It’s actually quite simpler than one would think. The problem is, getting there. We, as a society, and especially in the United States, have this ideology of “bigger, better, stronger, faster”. And yes, I believe at one point in my life I not only lived this way, but encouraged others to do so. My Mom always says to me, “If its meant to be, it’s up to me…”, which is really an amazing philosophy to live by when holding oneself responsible and accountable for the life led. However, for years I always looked upon this philosophy as living in a fast paced world. To me, it always meant, don’t expect someone to do it for you, you’ve got to get it done yourself. And for some reason, my brain interpreted that as “get it done fast”. No wonder I still have problems following directions at 46 years old. I remember being in first grade, and Sister Joseph Timothy telling me I REALLY need to learn to follow directions. I would become so exciteable about doing something, I tended to look over the what I was SUPPOSED to do, because I was SO busy trying to get to the end result. And at the end of the day, it was never done right, because I was always skipping important steps. Life is the exact same way. Ferris Bueller once said, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look every once in a while, you could miss it…”
So, how do I live in this society and live a slower way of life? Well, it can’t happen overnight, that’s for sure. But people like my friend Lea and other Youtubers like Katelyne from Girl in Calico, and Jonna Jinton, I have some ideas on how to start. For one, make time for the Creator who gave us all of this. I have found when I am living in a faster pace, I tend to never have time for prayer and meditation. And that HAS to change. How can I be happy living this way if I cannot even take some moments during the day to thank the One who gave me this life?
One of the things I need to make sure is that I keep to a schedule. I have a type of personality that I cannot just go on a whim; I NEED a schedule. Thankfully, I am embarking on a new journey that will FINALLY give me a set schedule. So, once that gets going, my next step is minimalization and organization.
The thought of that next step just gives me anxiety, even as I type the words out. As much as I love to organize, I will admit I absolutely suck at it. I know I will need help in this area, and I’m grateful for my best friends who have offered to come to me and help me out in this time of need. I know I’m going to need it.
I truly believe that once these three factors kick in, I will be running like a fine oiled machine, or more or less, a content middle aged woman longing for the slow lane in life.
What does slow living look like for me?
Waking up and being able to be in prayer without interruption. Making wholesome, good food that makes me feel good. Taking time to keep up my home, inside and out, with an absolute peace of mind. Being able to take a walk and listen to the trees and birds and hear God’s gentle whispers in the wind. Reading a book in front of a cozy fire with a large cup of tea, writing in my journal, and feel my mind, body and soul slow down to a peaceful rhythm. I want more than anything, to enjoy and live in each of the seasons, without feeling depression. This will be another big challenge. Embracing the deep, dark of winter where my brain puts me in a state of sadness and despair. I actually told my husband recently of my need to move to the Pocono Mountains (the mountain range a couple hours from my home). He of course became very confused, because why would I want to live in a place where the winters can be downright brutal? Who knows? All I know is that I feel I’m being called there. So, no better time to learn about slow living than right now.
I feel the muse within me beckon whenever I talk about the mountains. As if that’s where her soulmate lives, and I hope my husband and I follow her one day, to be reunited with her long lost love, and I can begin to create the art that I know is still deep inside of me.
I would love to know YOUR ideas of what Slow Living means to you. Please feel free to comment below, as I am always looking for new ideas!
It has been what feels like a millennia since I’ve written on this blog. Yikes.
A friend reached out to me this past week asking me if I was alright, and wanted to know if I was no longer blogging/vlogging, etc..I assured her that I indeed, WAS still doing it, but once again was put on a hiatus for one reason or another. 2020 hasn’t necessarily been unkind, however, it HAS been challenging to say the least. So that my readers understand the impact change has on my life personally, I will give you a brief description of these last 10 months.
Depression, Anxiety and Adapting to Significant Change. 2020 in a nutshell, folks.
If anything, that probably is the theme to most people for this year. Between the pandemic and getting laid off for almost 3 months, my son graduated from High School, when I was finally BACK to work, I was out for over a week from a virus (Thank the Lord it wasn’t COVID.) I’ve also endured some other physical, mental and emotional changes that come with a woman my age, oh, and due to some serious financial distress, I almost lost my house, and many relationships within my inner circle.
Yet, I would not surrender. My Dad (whom I proudly call Papa or Daddy still at 46 years old), once told me that one of my best traits as a person was that I refused to give up in the face of adversity. Truth be told, I thought I was going to give him a run for his money this year, because for the first time in my life, I actually THOUGHT about giving up. I’m not going to go into detail about that, but when life continues to hammer you down into the ground to the point you no longer can breathe, let alone see the light, one would want to succumb to the darkness too.
I did not falter, however. I kept my eyes on the prize, which was my Heavenly reward. I talked to God EVERY DAY. Sometimes, I felt that He was the ONLY one I was talking to. When I get depressed or severely anxious, I tend to retreat, or even hibernate. A personal dark space where my mind, body and soul can commune with the unknown, I wanted nothing to do with the world around me or its inhabitants. I craved being alone. The only time I felt happy was with my church community. And even that was a challenge, as it was months before I started even being physically around them because of this blasted pandemic.
I wanted desperately to fit in somewhere yet be by myself, which seems almost a paradox, but I was willing to do anything to make it work.
Did it work?
OF COURSE NOT!
I invested into things that I found I couldn’t keep up with, and those who I thought were supporting me were really just another facade into trying to fit into something. As soon as I removed the investment, they removed their support. Such is life in this day and age. It stung for about 10 minutes, but then I moved on, as I knew deep in my heart there was something out there for me.
During a much needed Come to Jesus talk with my parents several weeks ago, my Mama told me something, or more or less reminded me, how being a dreamer isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. If you don’t have a balance of reality with your dreams, they will never come true. And for most of my life, that’s all I did. Dream. It’s one of my favorite pastimes. I LOVE to dream. Dream about what’s to come, dream about what I could have done better, and through all that I forgot how to live. I was always in the future or the past, because being in the present was always so uncomfortable. I’m sure that sentence resonates with many people. Right now, LIFE itself is extremely uncomfortable. Whether it’s political or civil unrest, religious adversity, financial distress, our world seems to be crumbling all around us. And as long as we keep thinking that way, it will continue to crumble.
But my mentors, Ace and Rich Guzman, said something to me the night before that gave me the gut punch back to reality:
“When there’s going to be a breakdown, there’s a breakthrough…”
Welcome back, Bridget.
Since my breakdown back in Mid-September, things changed drastically. When I decided to live in my uncomfortableness, change started to happen. My house became abuzz with wanting to do better. My familial relationships were healing, positive things like getting a new job that will have me work from home came, my husband got a new car. My son was getting more work as a video editor. Things have started to pick up. The anxiety is full on, and I SO want to retreat into my dreams right now and plan for things coming up, but I know that is NOT where I am needed right now. Right now, I need to save my dreams for sleeping. Right now, I’m DOING.
I hate it. I truly do. It’s hard. It’s uncomfortable. It’s humbling. But it’s necessary. I can no longer be complacent in life if even so much as ONE thing is out of place.
I long for a simple, slow life. Full of coziness, cottagecore/hygge living, with all the trimmings. The good Lord in Heaven has shown me exactly what I HAVE to do to achieve that.
And so, as I sit here, typing this out, I have much to do. I will be leaving my beloved Book Store job effective November 11th, taking the rest of the week to prepare my new office space for my new job that starts on the 16th. I’m devastated to say the least about leaving the book store, but they are going to keep me on as a per diem employee, so I can at least still be a part of the family that I have come to know and love as my own. I’m going back to a company I was once with, one that I loved just as much, and look forward to making new memories. All while being exactly where I WANT to be: HOME. I think my puppy Linus is going to be thrilled over this, when he sees Mommy isn’t going to be leaving every day.
This will give me even more of a chance to continue building my Personal Brand, The Homesteading Hobbit, with the help of my mentors, Ace and Rich. I have so many people supporting me, within my family, friends, coworkers, and community. I am richer than I think. Money is definitely important in this day and age, and in order for me to succeed in this world, I’m going to need to make it, and make a lot of it. But without the beacons in my life that is this circle around me, I would have continued to live in the darkness.
For the last twenty years, I have been studying and researching the basic necessities for survival. I had no idea what I was doing at first, it really started with my first marriage and my first home. My next door neighbor, Tina, was one of the smartest people I had ever met, and she was the one who put the tiny bug in me regarding sowing, growing and preserving my own food. I had gardened in the past, mainly with my father and one of my grandfathers, Leon, when I was little. I even had a toy house my father built for me when I was very young, where I would play “house” and keep silly things like linens and wood, old plates and glasses in there, in case I was in need of them. Who knew these tiny little things would one day become integral in my adult life. Sure, it sounds simple, if not a little silly to talk about such things, but our children today have NOT a clue about these things. In fact, the school district where my children go to high school do not even have a Home Economics class in their curriculum. No, it is actually called “Smart Consumerism”, which I later found most school districts in the country have. Most have not a clue how to sew, cook, clean, or budget. They only know how to make money and how to consume it. My sons actually had ONE cooking class, where they learned to make mini pizzas with mini bagels. No learning of preserving foods, growing them and harvesting them, and our town is actually listed as a rural area! This is what society is today. We have been taught not how to fend for ourselves, but that others do it for us, and we just pay them for their services.
A subculture decades ago started forming, many of which would be called “Preppers”. Those not in that frey joke and call them alt-right wing conservatives, gun toting born again fundies who live off grid and wait for the apocalypse to arrive. Sure, I am sure there are those who meet those characteristics, but the majority of these preppers are just individuals and families who have been quietly preparing themselves in the event an event would come about that would cause us to revert back to a more rustic way of living.
I am one of those people.
I dove into the world of survivalism many years ago, and with the state of our society today, I’m all the more glad for it. Even though I’m not the greatest gardener, not the greatest cook, not the greatest organizer, I DO know that if our world comes to a halt, we’re going to be okay for a bit. Deep in the recess of my mind, I think I really wasn’t expecting this outbreak of the COVID-19 to happen. Well, at least, not of this magnitude. Our country has come to a halt, and because of this, many who do not know these skills were forced to spend most of their money to buy supplies, causing the supermarket to become bare of these supplies. People hoarded these supplies, taken over by greed and fear, price gouging others who didn’t get there quick enough. When in a state of fear, we revert to animal instincts. What happens, though, when our instincts have gone to the back recesses of our mind because society taught us these instincts were useless?
Survival skills are not on most of our societies’ minds today. This is precisely what should have been instilled in our children at a young age, a proactive approach to preparing themselves so that in times like this current crisis, chaos and fear would not be the leading emotion in our society.
We have to be better than this.
We have to be smarter than this.
We have to stop blaming others for what’s happening and take accountability for our behaviors, and learn from this.
We have to stop expecting someone else to take care of the issue because we were not prepared for it in the first place.
We live in an age of amazing technology, where so many resources are at the palm of our hands. Videos, articles, books, seminars, they are everywhere. Yet, most people turn a blind eye. I cannot necessarily blame them, many were brought up in the age of consumerism, where the free market has given us a way to live a life of privilege. And guys, let’s face it, most of us live in a privileged society. We have the privilege of buying what we need when we need it. From something simple like a candy bar to a case of bottled water.
Sooner or later, though, time was eventually going to be used up and we would eventually have to fend for ourselves. I believe this pandemic we have been facing is just the tip of the iceberg. If anything, maybe it is God telling us to stop playing around and get ourselves in order.
I want to tell you some of the things I have been doing over the last several years to prepare for these types of times that will be eventually coming to pass.
Wealth to me is more than money. It’s a fully loaded pantry, it’s a bountiful garden, it’s the knowledge I gave myself when others thought I was crazy for learning it. No degree will give you these skills, and no one can take them away once you acquire them.
When my Mom-Mom was alive, she lived with us for the last 6 years of her life. And every Christmas, she would request the largest bags of flour and sugar imaginable so we could bake our yearly cookies, cakes, pies and other desserts. I remember many years ago thinking how nice it was we had so much of these ingredients, because it resulted in less frequent trips to the grocery store. And we all know with the holidays, trips to the market can be tedious and overwhelming.
So, I started buying large quantities of flour, sugar, oats and rice. These four ingredients can make a multitude of things from breads, cakes, pie crusts, cereals, granolas, puddings, etc. I also started buying spices in bulk. If it was a dry good, I was buying a lot of it.
I also started collecting mason jars and canning pots. I began with a simple recipe, sauerkraut. But I have also learned how to pickle everything I could possibly pickle. Fermenting foods are not just good economically, but in health as well.
We also invested in a chest freezer, to keep meats and other goods preserved, so we could buy these things in bulk.
Did you know that cloth and beeswax can actually do away with tin foil and plastic wrap? And cloth without the beeswax are great alternatives to paper towels and napkins. Can you only imagine how simple it is to get a piece of fabric, scissors and a needle and some thread? The possibilities are endless and you aren’t contributing to the excess waste that is killing our world.
I just informed my husband that my main project for this year is creating and building a cob oven for outside. It’s not a necessity, mainly because we have a charcoal grill that can easily be used with wood. But economically speaking, imagine how low your gas or electric bill would drop if you spent more time cooking outdoors? We have a chiminea and a fire pit, so no matter what, cooking will always be an easy task for us. To make a cob oven, all you need are bricks, glass bottles, soil, sand, clay and water. Most have all this already at your disposal.
Gardening and Foraging
I don’t think anyone needs to be an expert to understand the necessity of gardening. Sadly, we have grown weak in the mind from the daily convenience of going to the grocery store and getting whatever produce we need. I feel I need to tell you, things are gearing up to change in this world, and the current pandemic is just a slice of what’s to come. I know plenty of people who have no desire in the world to garden, but I implore you, you will NEED to know this very thing in order to survive. Right now, imports are being put on hold, so many of our tropical fruits and vegetables will be less available, if any at all soon enough. What happens if grocery stores close? How will you feed yourself and your family?
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Convenience has made us a very lazy society. We want what we want when we want it, and all we need to do is click on something from a smart device, or jump into a vehicle and go somewhere who has it made already for me. What will you do if these conveniences were no longer available?
Think about this – Look at our domesticated animals. Especially the new “toy” breeds that are out there. For society’s own self-interests we created these beautiful little beings. But if humans were no longer here, what group do you think will be the first to die from the feral population or just lack of supervision? We create things out of convenience and sometimes selfish desires, and we forget the consequences if something bad were to happen. It was easy before to look away from this possibility, but seeing where we are now, we can no longer ignore what’s staring right in front of us.
So, whether its food waste, plant waste, human/pet waste, almost everything that is wasteful can be composted one way or another.
What would happen if water was no longer available? Meaning, the water company no longer worked and there was no water in the pipes for disbursing…What would you do? Did you know flushing toilets didn’t come until 1596 but honestly didn’t even become mainstream until the late 1800’s. Think about that. How did people go to the bathroom? Currently, many people living off grid/camping, etc use a tool called composting toilets. There is NO smell, and actually more hygienic than flush toilets. Unfortunately, our convenience-based minds cannot understand this concept because flushing toilets means that flush makes it go away from you. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Seriously, all you need is a bucket, toilet seat, toilet paper and saw dust, and you’re all set. Sure, it’s not pretty, but it works and it’s a lot more hygienic than water flush toilets.
There are so many home products you can make on your own with just a few ingredients you may already have in your home. From detergent, toothpaste, soap, hand sanitizer, lotions, salves, balms, you name it, you can most likely make it.
At the end of the day, you HAVE the ability to make life easier for yourself and your family by knowing these skills:
Light a fire
Tying a Knot
Also, look into the concept of Bug Out Bags. These are emergency bags used for just that: Emergencies. I am in the middle of creating one bag but I need 4 for each member of my family. It’s just a simple backpack with clothes, food, first aid, and survival tools like a compass, batteries, solar chargers, knives, cooking equipment that can fit together if the need to vacate your home arises.
At the end of the day, these skills WILL get you through tough times. No, we are not at The Walking Dead level yet, but if we continue to turn a blind eye and continue to make ourselves believe everything will still be at the tip of a finger/delivered to you when and where you want, you will be like the toy breed animals who will be naturally selected first. You’re better than that! So go learn these skills! Like I said above, NO ONE can EVER take that away from you!
This simple word means different things to many people. Some
see physical locations, other see people. But for those in the Body of Christ,
Yeshua Messiah, Home is as simple as American Apple Pie. We don’t need any
fancy adjectives or words to describe what Home means. It’s just simple.
Many Christian songs describe Home in the eyes of the writer. And although our descriptions may differ, the end result is the same: To live in eternity with our King, our Savior. Yesterday my church sang Chris Tomlin’s “Home”, and earlier in the week, I was listening to Mercy Me’s “I Can Only Imagine”. Those are just two small descriptions of what Home in Heaven COULD be like. Truth be told, there isn’t a single thing on this planet that can truly describe the awesomeness of what Heaven is like.
But it’s sure dang fun to think about!
I may have tapped into Heaven in previous blogs, but as I
get older and closer to the day when my earthly life is complete, I can’t help
but imagine what my eternal life will look like. I’ve read books by Kat Kerr,
Mary Catherine Baxter to name just a couple, and my imagination just blossoms
into this never-ending dream of life with my Creator.
From the streets of gold, to the Throne Room, the Court Rooms of Heaven, the storehouses, the Hall of Tears, heck the Lamb’s Book of Life itself…it’s HOME. And I want to share with you my personal prophetic dreams I have during my sleep, as well as blurbs throughout the day that the Father gives me.
Now, some people like Kat Kerr bring up places in Heaven that aren’t biblical, but I have learned that our Father in Heaven is so Almighty, that to judge a person’s perspective on Heaven is just not worth doing. Who am I to judge what someone believes to be a prophetic vision of their Home with God? Now, I personally believe that the Bible is the inspired Word of God and therefore what’s in the Bible is Truth. But to limit the Almighty Savior to this beautiful little Book is just silliness. So, let’s delve into what the Heavenly Father has shown me:
(Left: According to Biblical measurements, the size of Heaven would literally span almost the entire United States. Right: What the Three Heavens look like according to the Bible)
It’s important to say that the boundaries of Heaven are indeed protected by the most beautiful layers of jewels you’ve ever seen. Each gate being a single pearl, they are surrounded by 12 layers of gemstones no Universe could come close to the beauty and strength they have. Angels stand guard at each gate, allowing only those who are worthy and stainless to enter.
When you enter, you are surrounded by parks and vistas too far for our earthly eyes to comprehend. With the flowers and blades of grass humming praises to God, the aromas surrounding you make Viktor and Rolf’s Flower Bomb perfume seem ordinary. The streets you walk on are literally golden, yet transparent, far as the eyes can see. The sky above you is the clearest blue you can see, yet, near the horizon, are majestic purples and pinks and yellows, not sure if you are looking at a sunrise or sunset. But there is no nighttime. The closest you can get to the skies darkening is when you are in the heavenly woodlands, thick and lush with oaks, maples, willows, ash…every tree imaginable.
Downtown Heaven is like a city, with tall, crystallized buildings, sending off prism waves of light that literally pulse with energy from the praises in the air. As if the very air in Heaven is worshiping. Inside each building are homes and businesses where people who mastered their arts and crafts on Earth could continue what they loved doing. At the end of the main city street is the Throne Room. The closer you get to the Thone Room, the heavier your chest feels, because the Glory that is our God is so powerful, that the only thing that could handle it is our eternal bodies. Our earthly fleshy bodies would not be able to withstand the awesomeness that is His Glory. In front of the Throne Room is the River of Life, literally flowing within the building itself. At the center of the River, right smack in front of the doorway of the Throne Room, is the Tree of Life. A different fruit grows every month, and the fruit AND leaves on the tree have heavenly healing powers. As you go up the steps into the Throne Room, you will encounter Men, Lions, Lambs, Horses, Eagles, and Angels with eyes all over their wings. They part in two to allow you into the building, where all your family and friends, loved ones, acquaintances, really anyone who wants to be there, to greet you, as you enter and walk down the aisle, where your Bridegroom Jesus, our Yeshua Messiah, is waiting for you, smiling and ridiculously happy to see you. Clouds billowing at the bottom of the steps lead you up to the Father, who sits on the Throne waiting for you. Jesus takes your hand and walks up with you, His bride, to present to His Father. This is where your get your crowns and your robes of Salvation and any other rewards for your works during your earthly life. Once you embrace the Father for your return Home to the Kingdom, Jesus turns you around to present you to the Heavenly people. It is a massive homecoming, and the day is all about you. This is the part where you will finally be reunited with your family, friends and loved ones. This includes any children who passed before their own earthly birth. Many of these children will still be infants and toddlers, as the growth rate in Heaven is incredibly slow, for the sole purpose of being able to raise them.
There will be a feast for you, provided by Yeshua, because it is your wedding day, and you are home in Heaven. Multitudes of people will be present, and you will be able to remember all those you met during your earthly life.
Once your feast is over, you will be brought to your Heavenly property and be given the official tour. The great thing about where you live is that you will be living amongst those you were closest to on Earth. All your friends, family, loved ones, people you called your “inner circle” will be living around you. Mind you, it sounds unreasonable, because there are just millions and millions of people out there. However, because Heaven is Omnipresent, there are things our Earthly minds cannot understand. Like dimensions. Imagine your heavenly inner circle is like a multidimensional cube. You may be only able to physically see one dimension, but through thought you are able to travel to dimensions where your property is part of, where others live. I understand it may be hard to comprehend but remember this is God we are talking about. Quantum Physics cannot even apply here, as that’s just child’s play to what Heaven is like.
Now, for me, I want to tell you about my personal property. This vision has been coming to me for a long time now, and although I have no idea if this is truth or not, I have faith that God is showing me what I am building up there. Because that is what we are doing here. Works do NOT guarantee our salvation, no, only belief that Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior, who died for our sins, who gave His life to destroy the penalty of sin (death), we also know that faith without works is dead. So, although our faith gets us inside Heaven, our works are what build the place where we will call home in Heaven. I was shown what used to be a small shack of a house that I had been building, because even though I was doing so many good works in my life, my lack of faith in Jesus thwarted it’s building. I’m grateful to say that coming back to Him has assured me that my soul will be in everlasting bliss with my King. And I am building a palace! Why? Because I will be ruling with my King! That’s what we are called to do! So, our Lord WANTS us to have majestic palaces. We were not born to live in sadness and unfulfilled servitude. He created us to rule along side with Him! In all HIS GLORY! We have made ourselves believe in this notion that we cannot feel happy when good things happen to us, thus allowing negative ideas and events to be put in our world, forcing us to believe we deserved these bad things, linking them to “life lessons”. Sure, our God is a Mighty and Just God, but if you think for one moment God put you on Earth for the sole purpose to suffer, you really don’t know Him.
Suffering comes from the enemy and the enemy alone. Does God allow suffering to happen? Well, yes, of course…. we are living in Satan’s world, you know…the Earth is Satan’s domain. Just as God allowed Satan to put Job through suffering, we too, are given trials and tribulations. It is through faith, prayer and commanding the authority through our Almighty where we can defeat the enemy! Otherwise, the suffering will continue to happen. So, think about that before blaming God for your troubles.
I digress, back to Heaven!
My property has a bit of everything on it. But, most of what lives there are animals. I asked God years ago that any neglected animal, domestic or wild, be put onto my property to live eternal happiness. So, it’s a bit of an animal sanctuary, with rolling hills, a mountain range, woodlands and meadows. The valley of my home is an eternal Springtime, however the closer you get to the mountain range the seasons change to Autumn. The people that live around me live in a village-like setting…like the Shire meets a rural Scottish village. There is a lot of farming that goes on there, with lakes and ponds in different areas. The majority of the trees on my property are different types of Willow, my favorite tree species. In another dimension of my property is a tropical area where the leaves are as thick as the humidity. Clear blue waterfalls and tropical life live here, that connects to the Crystal Sea. I do not have Winter on my property. Although many residents of Heaven have Winter on their property, it’s just not my cup of tea.
Some of the structures in Heaven are for specific purposes. There’s the Storehouse, where body parts, both internal and external parts, sit and wait for their purpose to be fulfilled. Whenever you hear of a miracle, the Storehouse is usually involved.
There’s the Hall of Tears, where every teardrop fallen from
every human ever lived on Earth resides. Each tear is documented. When you hear
of God wiping away your tears, this is precisely where He puts them.
The Great Library is one of the largest buildings in Heaven (not including the Throne Room). Although the Lamb’s Book of Life resides in the Throne Room next to the Father, our personal Book of Life sits in this library. If you’ve ever seen the Citadel on Game of Thrones, know this is just a modicum of what the Great Library looks like. Every wholesome book as well as documents from everyone’s lives and events on Earth are shelved somewhere in this library. Scrolls, leaflets, even tiny notes on napkins are stored here.
There is such a thing as the Portal, that Kat Kerr discusses in her books. I have seen it. It is a place where people can come and see events unfold on Earth. Many Heavenly residents use the Portal for the purpose of watching their loved ones on Earth get saved/baptized, be born or even as they are leaving their earthly life.
The Sea of Eternity or the Crystal Sea as some call it, is the vast ocean around Heaven. The entire Sea is lined with crystals and gemstones from all over the Universe. Some that are not even of Earth. It is clear as glass, and sparkles like prisms in the sunlight. I have seen people that go there as if they were to go to any beach. Only they are in their heavenly clothes rather than bathing suits. Our heavenly clothes are usually long flowy dresses or skirts, long flowy tops, all different pastels, whites, ivory, etc…Here’s where it gets weird: Sure, you can go into the sea, you can even go into the River of Life. It’s wet, as you know, but you WON’T get wet. Wrap your head around that, now!
One of the most beautiful parts of Heaven are all around within the small parks. Gardens and small meadows, coves, etc., where you can go and be quiet, seem to be infinitely around. You even have a private garden on your property where you and Jesus hang out. Because Yeshua is Omnipresent, He can be in multiple places at the same time. So, when you are in Heaven, when you want to be near Him, it happens almost instantly! My private gardens are filled with pink and lavender roses, so thick it’s almost soundproof. My garden backs up to a covered porch on one side of my home. This is where I have had visions of having tea with not only my King, but I have had dreams of being there with my Mom. (who is still thankfully living here on earth!) Having these visions give me hope and utter happiness that this is what awaits me.
There are ALWAYS parties going on! From as small as private
picnics to massive feasts, people go from home to home, community to community,
to stay with loved ones. Because time does not exist in Heaven, it really is
impossible to comprehend how things go on up there. Parties can sometimes last
days, if not weeks, before things settle down and move onto the next place. Many
of the parties are continuing celebrations of homecomings that are hosted by
your loved one.
Now, although I have not seen in my visions other places that other people have seen, that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Heaven is infinite; and right now, this is all that God has shown me.
I pray this gives you peace and yet a sense of urgency. The King is coming, everyone. This is eternity we are talking about. You must ask yourself: Are you so rooted in the Earth that eternity is nothing but a fleeting thought? Do not have that backwards way of thinking, loved ones. I have seen things, been blessed with things given to me I wish I could explain more than I have here. Our life here on Earth, albeit important, is the “fleeting thought” when it comes to the scope of eternity. This life here? This is just a blip. Eternity, however, well…I do not need to give an explanation on how long eternity is. You have the choice to decide where you want eternity. I pray you will be blessed in reading this. I pray seeds have been planted in your heart. For I would love nothing more than to spend eternity with you all. God Bless.
I really wasn’t planning to do an obligatory “final words” post for this year, but honestly, as 2018 comes to a close is a few hours, I cannot help but think back to what happen in the last 12 months.
Like seriously, 2018 was ridiculous in terms of joy, heartache, abundance and loss. Let’s reflect on this gal’s year…starting with the sad stuff:
I went to 14 funerals this year. FOURTEEN. In my 45 years here on this earth, I think I attended as many funerals in this last year than I have in the entirety of my life. Honestly, this was the biggie. Loss was a big part of these last 12 months. Not just in death, but in career and finalities in relationships. I lost a job I cared about and was devout to for almost a decade. Acquaintances come and go, as well as some friends. Back in February a woman I considered like a sister decided to attack me on social media for coming back to Jesus. This woman, who I loved so much, who had an open door invitation to our home, and someone I could confide in, turned so cruel, something I am still thinking about 11 months later. I’m no stranger to controversy when it comes to my transition from pagan to Christ following, and most of my pagan friends have been kind and honest with me, even if it hurts them that I no longer believe in the things I once did.
In the last week alone, we were hit with a missile right to the heart and well, I guess all I can say is we all need to lick our wounds sometimes. I think of the song by Aaron Shust’s “You Redeem”, when he says:
“Miracles will happen, Healing will come, The plans of our enemy ruined undone”
As well as:
“You redeem, You redeem, You restore what’s been stolen from me…You reclaims, You release, You rebuild with the words that You breathe….”
It’s a powerful song that has helped me get through some really tough times in the last couple years, most importantly this year. But if I focus on just the loss, I’ll never truly see what I RECEIVED. So let’s talk about the good stuff:
I became part of an amazing ministry called Philia Ministries. Founded by my friends James and Lea DiNonno, they are two of the most loving and compassionate people, with such deep love for our Lord. They do their best to follow God’s original instructions, well, the ones that can be followed. Because of their devotion to God, they have been chastised, belittled and mocked in ways I never thought people would be capable of. But, this is what being set apart is all about, right? I myself have been trying to follow suit, because to me, many of those instructions aren’t burdensome. They are not filled with bondage others claim them to be. So, it meant I was also on the receiving end of that mockery. One actually threatened to call my Pastor! HA! For wanting to follow God in a way she did not agree with. Religion sucks, folks. That’s why I always tell people I’m not in a religion, I’m in a relationship.
In the last 12 months I have found kindred souls with a couple dozen people across the world, people that truly love unconditionally, people that are in the world but not of the world. There is so much humility in this ministry, I talk about them often. This is one of the greatest gifts God had given me this year. One I will NEVER take for granted.
What else…Oh, I got a job! Who would have thought that a girl who had been in the corporate world since 1999 would end up working at a humble book store a mile from my home? For me, this was life changing. There is very little stress, and a lot of laughter. I actually ENJOY going to work! I feel each time I open those doors, I am walking into my own private library. For a Bibliophile like myself, it’s a dream come true! And it’s pretty awesome I have amazing bosses and coworkers that make my days go by fast!
My health has improved significantly. In the last 12 months I am down over 30 pounds. It’s amazing what not having lots of stress inside your body does! Don’t get me wrong, this year was stressful in itself, my pulmonary issues are getting worse, as well as my memory continues to slip a little, but thankfully the good outweighed the bad. How did that happen, you ask?
I’ll say it again, folks. FAITH.
I think of Laura Story’s song, “Blessings”, where she sings:
“What if Your blessings come through raindrops, what if Your mercies come through tears? What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near…what if trials of this life, are Your mercies in disguise…”
No doubt, I shed a lot of tears. A LOT. No one can take that away from me. I had some really crappy things happen to me by people I cared about. The last 6 months alone were trials in itself. But as my “Person” Jenny said that it was my FAITH that was a big part of my life this year and how certain things turned out. I truly believe this.
See, I hate no one. But I sure as heck know people out there hate me. Hate me for my past, hate me for my personality. Hate me because I exist. I cannot stop those people from feeling that way, but I sure can use my FAITH God has given me and not engage in that hatred. Life is a precious gift that should not be thrown about. There’s going to come a day when we all go home to the Father. And we are going to have to stand in front on Him and explain why we did this and that, why we felt certain ways, and why we lived the way we did. I for one will not leave this earth with an ounce of negativity within me. And I urge so many who read this to do the same. Love as HE loved us. If this is the only thing I could have taught to anyone in this world, it is that.
So, as the hours grow closer to that clean slate that will be 2019, I am thinking of people like Sally, Helen, sweet little Eliana Grace, Janet, my friend’s mom and brother, Damian, My Aunt Sharon, and my friend’s brother in law…just to name a few, who left this world way too early, and the families and friends they left behind.
But I also think of my dear friends Jenny and Steven who FINALLY got married, my other dear friends Maria and Tim who had a baby girl named Teagan, my sweet friend Alina who gave birth to her little boy, a ministry that I am proud to be a part of and the friends I have now because of it, my son’s professional wrestling training scholarship, and how my faith has grown to immense proportions.
A rollercoaster of a year, 2018. Thank you for it, but I’m ready to get off the ride now and find the 2019 ride, jump in with my arms raised and my heart open for better things to come!
I have so many flipping blog posts that are in the presence of being written, but this never ending brain of mine refuses to turn off, which puts me in a situation where I am writing several posts simultaneously.
Over the last few weeks, I have noticed the talk of the great Rapture of the church has increased. Constant chatter about dates, moons, feasts and such, and watching/listening to brothers and sisters try to figure out when the Bride of Christ is going home. It makes me concerned, because we are not to know the actual time it’s supposed to happen. In scripture, where it talks about coming like a “thief in the night”, and that we are not to know the day or the hour of the Lord’s coming, it is actually NOTtalking about the Rapture; it’s really talking about the second coming of Christ. I truly believe that we should be watchful/mindful of the fact Yeshua IS coming back and we, the Bride of Christ, will be joining Him in the air as we head for the Marriage Supper of the Lamb. However, we should not be focusing on WHEN; when we should be ministering and witnessing to those who have not been saved by the grace of our Lord yet.
Do not get me wrong, I love to talk about the upcoming Rapture. I personally do not care if we are Pre, Mid or Post Tribulation; and I wish my fellow brothers and sisters would understand and take heed on that. Are we living in end times? You bet we are! The Bible clearly states this and what we need to look for. Earthquakes, Volcanic Eruptions, Tidal Waves, Hurricanes, Wildfires, and an all-around lack for the Lord are true and legitimate signs that we are at the end of our days here on Earth. I don’t even need to go into the biblical prophecies that have been already fulfilled over the last century. But does Abba show us in the Bible WHEN He will catch us up to Heaven? As in timing? Well, that’s still up for debate. We tend to forget time does not exist in eternity. But I do believe Abba gave us clues within scripture to help us look for the actual season of the Rapture. Although many brothers and sisters still use chapters and verses in the Bible that are specifically about Jesus’ second coming, and relay them as passages about the Rapture, it’s really not far off from the Truth, which is we really have no idea when this will happen. Yet, when you look into some of the books of the Bible while verifying events that are happening on earth, one can surely see certain areas of life as we know it. We can easily come to a simple conclusion that all these events in scripture have led us to this present day knowledge that something is stirring in the air. Let’s take a look at some of those passages: Revelation 3:10
“Since you have kept My command to endure patiently, I will also keep you from the hour of trial that is going to come on the whole world to test the inhabitants of the earth.”
“But our citizenship is in Heaven, and we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables Him to bring everything under His control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like His glorified body.”
“He said to them, ‘ It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by His own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends .of the earth.'”
Luke 17: 34-37
“I tell you, on that night two people will be in one bed; one will be taken and the other left. Two women will be grinding grain together; one will be taken and the other left.” “Where, Lord?” they asked. He replied, “Where there is a dead body, there the vultures will gather.”
These are the very Bible passages that <to me> are about the Rapture. All other passages are <again, to me> about the Second Coming of our Lord Yeshua, the Messiah, the Christ.
Now that we got that out of the way, I’m sure you’re asking, “What in Sam Hill does this have to do with Death and the Changing of the Seasons?” Keep up with me, baby birds, I promise to feed you.
We are heading into the darker part of the year. With that comes some beautiful biblical feasts like the Feasts of Trumpets, Feast of Tabernacles, Yom Kipper and more. This is the time of year when we find ourselves digging a little deeper into the soul, trying to understand purpose. I happen to love this time of year, the world becomes another Spring, where the leaves become the flowers. The smell of campfires to keep warm, hearty stews and soups to keep us nourished, fuzzy socks and blankets, and deeper conversations with the company you keep. For me, that’s perfection, until the end of December when everything becomes truly dead in this part of the world, and where many people start feeling the affects of Seasonal Affective Depression (SAD). In many earlier posts here on my blog, I talk about this disorder quite extensively, because I have suffered from it for decades. But it got me thinking: Am I getting depressed because my flesh is telling me to be depressed? Or is it my soul? Well, my soul belongs to Christ Yeshua, and therefore no stain must be on it. This includes any type of negativity. Now, before anyone gets on their high horse and starts criticizing me, allow me to continue. I am NOT, I repeat, I am NOT saying that depression is a sin. I am not saying anxiety or any other disorder of the mind is sin. Maybe it is, and maybe it isn’t. Sin comes in many forms, whether it be self-inflicted, generational, ancestral, etc…Since I am not God, I really can’t answer that. What I AM saying is, is that we CHOOSE to continue down that path of depression, without trying to find ways to rid of it. Many people assume that since they have it, they just need to either a) put a band-aid on it with medicine or material goods, or b) just deal with it. Sure, those are fine and all, but there is more! If we feel deep down, depressed, anxious, angry, hurt…why are we not speaking to Abba about this? Why are we just throwing our hands up in the air and saying, “Welp! That time of year has come! Time to get the sun lamp out!” Or “Time to buy extra tissues cause there’s gonna be a lot of crying!” What ever happened to ” Lord, deliver me from the sadness that I am going through. If it is in Your will, please remove the pain I have at this time every year. And if it not in Your will, please fill me up with your wisdom, gladness and joy, so that I may rejoice in You, Lord, in knowing praises to You will relieve me from this torment.”
We are so CONSUMED by our own wants and needs, we completely miss the boat on what the Father wants us to do! This is why leading a life dedicated to Christ Yeshua Messiah is one of the hardest walks of anyone’s life. Yet it can be done! It’s just literally a matter of whether we choose to walk it. And I mean TRULY WALK IT.
When you become saved, you learn that certain things that were once part of you are no longer a burden or necessity. That certainly doesn’t mean that everything negative in our life will go away. But with a great amount of will, along with certain understandings that no longer prove valid, we CAN get past the worldly burdens. The enemy burns into our brains that in order to survive on this earth, we have to endure these standards of living. Nope, not even close. If you have Abba in your heart, live by grace and follow His commands, rest assured that reward He talks about will be great when we leave this earth.
For me? That burden was death.
Am I afraid of death? Not like I used to be. Sometimes I would think about death so much I wouldn’t sleep for days. When someone I love passes away, I always had this feeling of utter sadness that I will never see them again, talk to them again, embrace them again. And when you allow your physical human nature to take over your soul, well then, yeah, you’re going to feel those deep feelings of detachment. I can honestly say I have been blessed with this notion that God loves us SO much, He will NEVER put us in a situation where the end result would be so traumatically negative, we couldn’t recover. When you allow God to take over in your life, you learn these valuable lessons of refinement and continue to walk in His footsteps. I get this now. And I know that whether I am raptured in this life, or pass away before it actually happens, I know deep down I will not only be reunited with my Beloved Yeshua, but with those who left this planet before me.
Christ is coming.
There is NO time to say, “I’ll prepare tomorrow” or “When I get a chance I’ll do it”…because all it takes is one second. One second…for life as we know it to change. Thousands, if millions, WILL disappear. Chaos and despair will cover the earth. What side of that coin do you want to be on?
My dreams lately have been reflecting the possibility that the heavens are moving and shaking things up. Everything going on in the news from peace talks and earthquakes clearly show something big is about to happen.
So many people don’t believe me when I say this. So many say that this is all bogus, that it will never happen.
So many people also believed that terrorists would never attack our soil.
And yet, 9/11 happened.
Christ is coming, brothers and sisters. The Marriage Supper of the Lamb is getting ready. The invitations have been sent out. Respond yes. Be prepared. We are in the season of the great catching away. Do you want to go home to paradise? Or would you rather wait and see what happens?