Okay, so yeah, I did say I was going to be blogging more regularly…BACK IN SEPTEMBER…so, obviously, I need to take a step back from promising things I am not 100% sure of. But we’re here now, so hey! What’s happening????
Lots has happened, I really don’t even know where to begin. I celebrated my year being saved on November 18th, 2017 and was able to go to church the next morning and just worship till my hearts content; absolutely smitten with God in such a way I became incredible emotional during the FIRST SONG. Yeahhhh…doesn’t take much anymore to bring on the old briny tears. Think about it: Have you ever been in love with anyone? Or anything? Like something takes your breath away SO much you cannot help by release the endorphins because it’s just too dang much for your physical body to hold onto anymore. That’s how I feel about Jesus. I know, it sounds weird. And it’s not like in a romantic (obviously) way that I feel for my husband. No, this is different. I understand what unconditional love is, because you realize that NOTHING He can or cannot do will ever sway your love for Him. That’s how I feel.
Unfortunately, my love for my God came with a big cost. People who were a part of my journey walked out of my life so fast I couldn’t even blink fast enough. People don’t like hearing about an absolute. No, in today’s society, the idea of “whatever” is more apropos than having a solid foundation of 1 thing. In a world where New Age philosophies are gaining popularity every second, one usually doesn’t even notice how these philosophies have infiltrated almost every mainstream religion. And no, I am not condemning anyone here for living this life or believing these things. I was there for over 10 years, and if there was anything that upset me more, was judgement over my beliefs. Just because I no longer adhere to these principals, does not mean I am pointing my finger at others who do. And sure, do I get criticized for not pointing my finger and trying to “save” those people? Every time. In fact, it’s one of the very reasons why I haven’t blogged here. I found it emotionally exhausting trying to placate every single thing I was posting on social media, knowing full well there were some waiting on the edge of their seats for me to say something that contradicts their own ideas of anything. Some times it wasn’t even about religion. I realized that my life quickly was being looked upon the social media population with a microscope, and I’ll admit I had difficulty trying to keep a smile on my face every day. Look, I understand that I cannot make everyone happy, but it came to a point where one had to throw their hands up in defeat, realizing you couldn’t make ANYONE happy. That has always been a point of weakness for me. I admit that. In all my years of spiritual and emotional growth, I am still incredibly naive in areas of others’ opinions of me. Here’s the thing: I’m not here to “save” anyone. That’s an intimate relationship with the divine, and my ego learned very quickly only I can save myself. Everyone is on their own when making any final agreement with our Creator. But if I want to be a beacon of light and help those who ask for it, in the words of George Costanza, I’ll do it every day of the week and twice on Sunday.
But, over the last 3 weeks, when my life changed quickly and drastically, I found out that it cannot matter anymore. That no matter how much you try, it is really a battle that never can be won in the flesh. Something I learned over this last year: Don’t hate the person. You’re not fighting the person in front of you; you are fighting with an evil entity who is inside of them, creating a sort of chaos in their mind and body, allowing them to hate, ridicule and belittle anything and anyone for any reason. You can be the most faithful servant to God, but you are still human. And when living on this 3 dimensional planet, where evil and demonic forces are everywhere, waiting to pounce on anything that shows weakness, it becomes a never ending saga of “how can I get around it next time”. And that’s just suicide, folks.
Did you know that in the first prayer Jesus taught everyone, the Our Father? Well, the ending part of the prayer, most say, “But deliver us from evil”, is actually INCORRECT. No, the correct version at the end of this prayer actually says, “But deliver us from the evil one.”
THE EVIL ONE.
We are dealing with evil principalities on the other side who want nothing more than to see us fail and live in darkness and shame. They thrive on it. Where do you think the old saying, “When it rains, it pours” comes from? When weakness is found, the feed on it until they are full, and sadly, their hunger for your demise is never ending.
In the last 3 weeks, I have had a lot of time to think about life. About MY life, and the people within this life I hold dear. My husband and sons, my adult puppy, my parents, sister, extended family and all my friends…They are the ones that matter. Nothing and NO ONE ELSE. (Is it weird my brain went right to a Metallica song? All of a sudden I was hearing James Hetfield in his low voice singing, “No, nothing else matters….” – That’s what I get for being married to a metal head).
Tomorrow is my 44th birthday. WOOHOO!!!!! Grab the balloons and confetti! This girl is another year older! This last trip around the sun was definitely interesting. So many high highs, along with just as many low lows. But, the truth is, I’m still standing right here, with a big old smile on my face. Sure, my smile looks a little more weathered, as the fine lines and little wrinkles here and there are starting to pop up in odd places, but I haven’t felt this peaceful in years. Seriously! I would love to tell you my secret, but right now, it’s not the time. (But I promise I will, eventually!)
(between the hundreds of cowlicks, the wrinkles on my forehead from years of scowling, and all that rosacea on that nose, my 44th is coming in full swinging!)
I WILL, though, tell you what I am doing NOW. I’ve been a busy gal, working on a few businesses. I am a Presenter for Younique now, as well as a Founding Consultant for EllaTina (a legging and soon-to-be more clothing styles company), a Consultant for Nutrasail, and of course we cannot forget the good old Bohemian Hobbit Apothecary .
I am currently in the process of laying out the 2018 Gardens. Due to my faith change, the name of our homestead has changed as well. I am thinking of calling it Morning Glory Homestead, as we are inundated with Morning Glories EVERYWHERE! Some people, as well as lots of landscapers, say that they are this invasive weed, but this gal right here think they are just so beautiful! So, I chose to just trellis them up, rather than remove them. The Purpledead Nettles, on the other hand, are something that make me want to stick pins in my eyes.
I am going to be working 3 different types of gardening this year: Garden of Eden, Hugleculture, and Core gardening. Each one has it’s place in Permaculture, but all with a different spin to it. So, different areas of my property will house one of those ways. 2017 Garden was definitely more of a success than 2016, as we ended up with tomatoes and peppers galore! And the herbs came back with a vengeance, by end of July, the gardens looked lovely!
(just some of the garden in its prime)
And lucky for me, this gal gets to continue, or better yet, start her gardening earlier than even this coming year! Sitting in a box, is my little side greenhouse that will connect to our back doors. I cannot even tell you how excited I am about this new journey with my gardening, and so happy my Dad is going to help me put it together! Keep an eye out for the finished product in January!
And finally, we are hoping this coming spring we will finally get our kitchen window put in. Having no windows in our kitchen makes it dark and rather gloomy. And I need light to keep me happy.
So, I am prepared to have a lovely Christmas and New Year with family and my closest of friends, and I really am just so excited for what 2018 is going to bring. I feel that 2018 will be a year of incredible blessings! I truly believe that if I did not have the ONE thing in my life, I would not be where I am right now.
And I truly believe that He is up in my gardens in Heaven right now, tending to everything, waiting for my time to come up there and be with Him. Over the last 6 months, I’ve been given visions through dreams of what it’s like up there. I’d like to say that what I saw in my dreams were real. Why?
Faith, my friends. Faith.
My next blog will talk about what I saw up there. Until then, have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy Happy 2018!!!!