It’s been over 3 months since this new chapter unfolded before me. And I have to tell you, it’s been pretty amazing. Well, it would probably be more amazing without the Arctic freeze and snow every few days, but I also know it could be worse. Every so often during these 2 months, temperatures having been swinging around in the 40’s and 50’s, so the temperatures will alert the sleeping flowers and trees that dawn is approaching for their big wake-up call. And then we get snow. Or a day where its 10 degrees fahrenheit. Another month or so, and we will start seeing some buds on the trees, and maybe a crocus or two!
But I digress…I wanted to get online and talk about a piece of scripture that came across my eyes today. Numbers 11:5
I immediately thought of my friend Chad, who after telling him I started reading the Bible, he said jokingly, “Let me know when you get to Numbers. ” I have to admit, I have avoided Numbers like the plague for that very reason!
But, Jesus has other plans for me, I guess.
Anyway, I was listening to this prophetic word on YouTube one morning, when this passage was brought up. I decided to look it up, and literally sat here at my desk, completely clueless as to what it meant. I decided to reach out to a fellow Brother in Christ/Bible Study Teacher/Good Friend and Partner of my BFF haha… (yeah, he has lots of titles), and he gave me a brief albeit solid explanation to the passage.
“In context it was the Jewish people wandering in the desert whining about how good they had it when they were slaves. Their eyes were off the blessings of the Lord providing daily manna, they were lusting for the “good ole days…”
WOW. For an instant I got it. I understood what the Israelite’s were complaining about. I understand it, because I felt that way through my first marriage, and my last place of employment. Even if life was hell, it was stable. It was something that I knew, and no matter how bad it got, at least I knew what to expect, rather than having not a clue of what’s happening. It’s why I don’t like surprises. It’s why I tend to know exactly what my step-son is going to say/do before it happens. My need to know everything around me consumed my life. I had to be in the know with everything and complained when I didn’t know what was going on. Right now, I am going through that, but, I decided last month to take up the Cross and allow God to do with me as He saw fit. And my life has been nothing short of a miracle. Since 2004, I have been longing to be back home, and after 13 years, here I am. Don’t get me wrong, I am still diligently looking for a job, but I also know God knows my heart and knows exactly where I will thrive. So, following in His footsteps rather than my own is definitely humbling and very difficult. I’ve never been a patient person, and living on a daily instant gratification for things has created something within me I am not proud of. Getting back to basics and bringing myself back into Spirit, well, I can easily say it’s not easy. Yet the infinite patience of our Father is astounding, and no one should really question that. It’s very difficult to not look on the outward appearance of things and instead look within. But looking within is where the real treasure is. Seeing the very thing that God created us in the first place for, that is where the miracles sit. How many in this world have been honestly able to see that? I’m 44 years old, and seeing this through my child-like eyes is like looking upon a unicorn – you can’t believe it’s real but there it is standing in front of you.
Sometimes, God allows difficult times to happen in order for the amazing things to take place. I think I may have mentioned this in my last post. And most likely, I will mention it in the next one. I think it’s important to remember that. We are so caught up our egocentric minds, that there isn’t any room for God. In order for us to truly allow God into our lives and hearts, we must let go of our worldly desires.
It’s not easy. But think of the Parable of the rich man who wanted to enter the Kingdom of Heaven….Incidentally enough, it’s the next verses in Matthew Chapter 10:
17 And when he was gone forth into the way, there came one running, and kneeled to him, and asked him, Good Master, what shall I do that I may inherit eternal life?
18 And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God.
19 Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Defraud not, Honour thy father and mother.
20 And he answered and said unto him, Master, all these have I observed from my youth.
21 Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me.
22 And he was sad at that saying, and went away grieved: for he had great possessions.
23 And Jesus looked round about, and saith unto his disciples, How hardly shall they that have riches enter into the kingdom of God!
24 And the disciples were astonished at his words. But Jesus answereth again, and saith unto them, Children, how hard is it for them that trust in riches to enter into the kingdom of God!
25 It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. (Matthew 10:17-25 KJV)
So, I let go of control of my life, and gave it to God. And it hasn’t been the same ever since. And every wish I had dreamed of regarding how I wished my life would be has been humbly coming true.
Well, I gotta get back to some work here at home. Lots to do today, lots of prayers to be said. Lots of praises to our Almighty for all He has given me. One of the things I find humorous, is that in 1 Corinthians 11, it talks about women covering their head when talking to God. Well, I talk to God ALL DAY, so I guess I need to have my head covered all day! HA!
Be blessed this week, everyone. Jesus loves you!
One thought on “Breaking Down the Ego Within…”
You are such a strong woman . . . and deserve happiness now more than anyone I know. Love you bunches!